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Thursday, 1 December 2011

Hypocrite feelings

On emotions I lose control,
When past memories upon me fall,
When long-gone moments still in my heart, stall,
When the book of my life before my eyes begins to unravel
When the beating of my heart becomes unstable.

Quivering lips and a tearful eye,
I sit alone in my gloom and warily sigh,
These old times, to which I’ve bid many times good bye,
Still haunt me; day and night, for I,
Am losing control on emotions by and by.

One harsh word from dear mother;
My heart fails; a tear drops; then another;
A small token of love seems impossible from her,
So I sit back; alone in myself and I holler,
Alone to myself; for now, only one person bothers.

I’m glad to shove my feelings down,
To gulp down my emotions and not frown,
To enjoy this life without a mourn,
But how can I be a hypocrite to myself now?
When my heart bleeds tears? HOW can I not make a sound?

Isn’t killing one’s self respect enough?
Does the world still have to be that rough?
Why do they burn the skin after painfully peeling if off?
And ha! Never feel secure, because in the end,
Or along the mighty way, hurt, pain and disappointments in your face is shoved!