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Thursday, 7 July 2011

Coffee Overdose

All the books kept in a neat pile on the table. The three sides of the laptop gracefully outlined by the dining table's kinara. Candy stock at an arm's length. Ah. A perfect nighter tonight, I think. 

For the diurnal population of this world, a Nighter is an all-night-study-and-no-facebook-time. So yes. A very productive plan. With essential survival supplies in near reach, which in my case, is my stock from The Sweet Factory. Over-rated candy I tell you. 

Back to the subject. 

Half an hour in the nighter and an evil, not-so-scary, yet a wee bit intimidating-to-preset-plans-and-targets "yawn" escapes from my mouth. No Matter how hard I try to purse my lips together, the over-powering yawn wins. And that, my friends is a subtle hint to my nighter-sensitive portion of the brain. 

A hint of failure

Afraid I might miss out on my study plan and give in to this evil patterned routine of the diurnals-sleep; I skip a heart's beat and within a blink of an eye, am at the kitchen counter. No, not splashing water in my eyes. But preparing shots. 

Ooh. How interesting that sounded, dinnit? Shots. I like the sound. Shots shots shots.. 

But, I'm awfully apologetic to burst your bubble of excitement at your mere notion of Me, repeat, ME engaging in stuff like Shots. Tsk. Khair, My shots are Coffee shots. One gulp water, Nescafe Classic coffee ka one teaspoon, stirred 4 times. Then gulped. Yes it is karwi. But well, its a war against sleep no? Has to be won. Afterall, nocturnal beings have to maintain their status quo, if nothing else. 


Coffee is in my system. Its mixing in my blood and within a minute or so, my energy shoots up. Heart full of happiness. All rainbows, khushyan, travel trips of the past, times when I brought home a good result report card, good photography moments, successful bunkings, pranks played out well, and happy hangouts with friends suddenly come in my overly active brain and I am all fired up to fight sleep. 

But, this time, in my inherited overload of Jazbaat, I took an overdose of coffee and my feet just wouldn't stop bouncing. The skipping of my heart out of my ribs was a funny feeling till I remembered my noble purpose for which I had engaged in a caffiene moment. 

When you have coffee in the system, every accounts question, every irritating prepayments and khuwarofying taxation policy seems cake. To be more precise, Nandos Chocolate Fudge cake. Yes, THAT simple. And fun. My fingers have this typing tutor expert wali typing speed while I do quizzes online. Calculator per thik thik thik. Answers are on the hit. Brain is on a roller coaster. Happiness is oozing from every cell of my body and suddenly, my chashmay become a burden on my Suddenly-clear eyes. I take them off. Doing the workings of all the once-cumbersome questions in an unbelievably neat manner, I impress myself enough to ask for my own hand for marriage. Figuratively Please.

I put on weird songs dug out of my extensive music library [showing off a bit, you know]. Songs likeSheila add gas to my fiery brain-on-wheels. To explain a bit, I'm an avid listener of slow, sharafat kay ganay; But with coffee, you know, bunda zaada hi over hojata hai. And no, my friends, DON'T even think about Freud's theory of the subconscious here because coffee doesn't bring out your guilty pleasures on the open. Cuz sheila is NOT my dil ka sukoon. 

Back, back back: 

Eyes rolling like bullet pallets; with coffee you know, every moment becomes a long one. More can be achieved in every moment. So I savor it. This sudden boost of energy in my body makes me shifty and all crazy. 19 tabs opened on my chrome window. Slamming numbers into the calculator and doing my math. Laughing more than required on a lame Zubeida aapa tip which this weird crazy 'mujhse please baat to karain' type fraandshipper sends daily, regularly, baqaeedgi say. I admire this BIG vase of artificial phool on my dining table. No, it dint arrive today, its been there since a couple years. 

I can OBVIOUSLY go on and on about this coffee-crazy-effect because, tee hee, right now I am on a coffee-shot. 

It gives this amazing fee- I guess I will stop here. Yes, I am a nocturnal. And I simply love, well, MORE than love this coffee ka asr. And one main purpose of my coffee intake was to fight sleep, but the war doesn't end there, I have a pre-set goal for my studyplan tonight. So. I'll get to it. 

So, yeah.

Oh. This was an explanation of my relationship with a beverage. NOT a suggestion for you to try for your nocturnal adventures. 

I will not be held responsible. JOB DONE! :D    

Friday, 1 July 2011

Another hole in the ear.


Are you one of those people who stare at the tiny tiny tiddy tiddy beggar girls who have their ears pierced all the way to their hair? Or are you one of those who wonder 'kaan chhidanay k pesay hain, roti k nahi'?

Well, I have my own special category.

Sympathy ki. Yes, I 'sympathize' with their condition. Yes, I know what your dubious expression is begging to ask. "have you lost it?". Its okay. I hear that a lot. (H). I sympathize because Very recently I went through what those tiddy piddy girls on the street go through.

Pain. In the ear.

/dances/ YES! I got another piercing. But wait. Let me narrate the zalim jewelry walay ki kaar-kardagi.

This jewelry wala I got my ears pierced resides in Toba Tek Singh, so IF my kaan is successful and IF you are impressed with his.. er. piercing-ability then you'll have to travel some 1199 km. But oh well, Karachi is full of such jadoogars too.

Khair, I entered the small glittering shop. Uncle Jeweler straightened up and smiled his dazzling smile. He recognized me [small town Toba ;)] My cousin stealthily told him, 'kaan chhidwana hai iss nay, doosra wala'. Now, Honestly i was expecting a 'OH MY GOD' or 'Haye Khudaya' or 'Dimagh mein to chhaid ni hai?' kinda response but, no, tsk, No, the Jeweler uncle was at ease.

He gave a marker to my cousin who quickly made two tiny specks on my ears. I was dazzling my teeth in overflowing happiness and overly wide bateesi when i saw The Weapon. A gun. Yes, it was a gun.

The Uncle placed it on my ear. Mere to mu mein jo Ayat ya Surah aai, I started reciting it. Kia Durud tou kia wazeefay. Eyes tight closed at the prospect of pain.

Stop smiling, dear reader. You have No idea how much a tiny prick-of-a-needle in the ear hurts.

Khair, dukhi dukhi, eyes tight shut, lips tightly pursed, hands clamped and sweaty, legs shaking, tears streaming, I let my ear get shot by this ear-pistol. 'Beta dard to hota hi nai hai!' Uncle constantly said to console my dying-with-pain heart. I stared at his face, and wondered angrily, 'Khud nay to KAHIN kuch pierce nai kiya hai, mujhe dard ki dastan ka bta ray hain', and then continued to cry over my small hole-of-a-piece of flesh lost.

The jeweler uncle, I later noticed, had plucked in a small golden stud in my piercing. I fondled it and I liked the shiny shimmy tiny thing.

C'est minnon. [They are cute] 

 Till two days of my shiny gold ears, I was at complete ease. Then the totkays and the zaalim samaaj's aazmooda tips and tricks to heal the wound were experimented on me. I heard TONS from my khalas, mamis, elder-shadi-shuda cousins.. Poor me, confused, i let it be.

But like they say, Punjabi tik-tay nai hain. It was one tiny tiny whiny complain in the morning today. "mumma bahut pain hora hai" Ab mein thehri zara ziada hi emotional, my mumma doubles that. Immediately got a neem ka tinka and within seconds of unbearable pain and excruciating agony, I had two tiny black ugly tinkas in my ears. Reason? Zakham sookhta hai iss tarah.

Look closely to discover the ear piercings =)
So yes. Now I am in complete understanding with the tiny tiddy beggar girls and their million dhagas and tinkas in their ears.

I know it is weird thinking this way about them. But, they go through a lot of pain. Every surakh in the ear is killing. Every flesh piece lost is painful.

So, my salute to these million girls who get their ears pierced all the way to the top.

Girls, Be strong. =)