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Monday, 10 October 2011

. .ProcrastinatioN. .

JEE NAHI. That is NOT procasti ka nation. It’s a word. Angraizi ka word. Jee, Pura ka pura.

One hell of a long word dewd. Considering what it means: Defer, Delay, Postpone, Put off etc. With that length, one would even procrastinate the use of this word.
Khair, moving on. 

In the old times, procrastination used to be an illness, a disease, like whoever used to procrastinate anything was considered contagious venom; okay, yeah exaggerating a bit; but you get the idea right? Okay, now don’t go too faaaar back in history, just the times when Pakistan was born: Everyone was working, active, alive, passionate and ardently involved with something or the other. Be it education or politics. But now. Well, the situation speaks for itself. 

Now consider us. We are lazy. We are tired. We are always bored. We are always putting things off. We is us. Everyone. So, basically it is like the awaami procrastination. Now as this has become an awaami masla, I will adhere to it bit by bit.

Politicians: Here, like, here in Pakistan, the situation is a bit comical. There will be no finger pointing at any politician of Pakistan as this blog is not a biased blog, but Imran Khan is FRIKKIN awesome! Okay, no more names.
Our government has always got more sinister issues to worry itself on. Like who is going to Dubai for the weekend, who is going to visit Sarah Palin, who is going to rest in Paris for a while; while the talks take place in the middle of their expensive lunches and spas. But stuff like, KalaBagh dam? Nope mayn, that is ridiculous decision making aint it? Who would worry about water issues till the tap runs dry and one is under a shower with shampoo and soap on? Or why waste a meeting protocol unless the awaam is out on the streets burning tires and ravaging like new-born samurais? These bijjy people wont budge. Because, oh wait, these politicians have other grave issues to worry about, right? 

Students: This hardly requires a big hefty paragraph. A simple statement does it dewds. Students study in the last week before exams; oh and no, the timetable and registration is done MONTHS earlier. So, yeah, one statement and the reader is enlightened with the procrastination details.

Teachers: Ooh, My personal favorite. The teachers are also, after all humans. And this fact was for those maniacs who think otherwise. Khair, the teachers case is a bit interesting. Their procrastination is shadowed, curtained and a bit vague. But see, the teachers go super duper slow and all nicey nice in the first two third of the semester/term. Whats wrong with that you ask? DEWD, have you seen or been THROUGH the pace in the last one third of the semester/term? They are usually [not all ;)] all fired up. Full on junoon, jazba and energy. Mutlab, students ko samaj aye ya na aye [again, not all] but no, train kay driver bun gaye hain ab, train ko rail gaari ki tarah nai, ROCKET ki tarah urana hai.

So yeah, that’s why the vagueness of the teacher’s procrastination is very gehri. Because they show their jalwa riiiiiiiiiiiight at the end.

So yeah, Procrastination is EVIL laydiss and gentalmayn. It is an evil SO deep which has the ability to seize your junta away from you, it can make you sit in a second attempt of an exam and worse, it may lose you your income; i-e your students. So kindly refrain from it.
But, kabi kabi chalta hai. Do not taynsun. [tension]  

Monday, 3 October 2011



Yes, well, that is the exact response I got from a girl when I replied to her probing questions about my online life. No, I hadn’t answered that I was creating a website that would kill every tenth user, nor was I planning on taking over MSN for that matter. I had merely told her: 
‘I am not on facebook’.

So, what is this CRAZYY hype about it anyway? I WAS on facebook. Period.

The fact that people probe sooo deeply in one’s personal online life is under rated. Heavily dude. Now, considering that an online life IS personal [word consideration used only for those people who think otherwise! -.-] why is the world So confident in asking WHY you aren’t on facebook? If I had asked the same person, OH MY GAWWWWDDD!! ARE YOU EVEN HUMAN!? subsequent to a question relating to her prospective husband or current suitor… I would probably have been labeled as a ‘creep’, ‘curious cat’, ‘interference ki daadi maa’, ‘nosy aunty’ and WHAT NOT!

But no, there is this annoyingly true unwritten rule that the online life is on-the-line for everyone to stalk, probe, like, question, hate etc. Because, its facebook only dewdd!

I would like to question these dewds, why would you want to know if I am on facebook or not? Especially when you are SURE that I would never make the mistake of clicking on ‘confirm’ to your umpteenth friend request. I mean, I am sure you and I would HARDLY exchange any ‘omg hiiii’ or detailed life stories on our *inboxing*, so the point of our friendship on FB is probably fake right?

Khair. I can rant about this for hours and hours.

The point of this small thing is that SO WHAT is someone is NOT on facebook? Why have people started judging their peers etc on the basis of their online presence? Why is the fact that someone who is not comfortable in that oh-so-magical-arena­ not digestible? Why do people label the non-facebookers as haye becharay introverts’, ‘becharay’, ‘allowed nahi hoga’, ‘probably have a psychological issue of non-socializing’ or ‘weird person mannn!

The truth maybe…:
The non facebooker probably had a BAD stalker.

The non facebooker probably had TONS to study.

Or the non facebooker probably got tired of staring at pouted pictures and poses against parked BMWs.

The non facebooker maybe had a family. You know, the REAL kind? Where there is usually one mother and one father, no not the 5 moms and 6 dads facebook walay. Real human beings. Homo sapiens. Jeetay jaagtay.

OR maybe, the non facebooker actually has a REAL life. Life outside answering ‘whats on your mind’ everytime you open the browser. Life outside 398 friends when the non facebooker only hung out with 7-8 of them. Life outside a page FULL of other people’s life stories.

Or maybe, just a normal life. Like it used to be

So to all those dewwdds kindly stop probing in our personal lives, yes beta, the online life IS personal. Unless you don’t mind me asking how YOU felt when your mum spanked you with a jharoo and the intricate details of that incident, feel free. You would know my answer anyways. J

.>Disclaimer< This is a mere expression of personal experiences and responses and in no way attempts to jeopardize the goodwill of Facebook. <Tada-bliiiing>