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Thursday, 16 June 2011

The Festive Itwaar Bazaar

One cant call themselves PAKKAY karachiites unless they have had a taste of the Legendary Itwaar Bazaar. No, its not the sunday market, its the Itwaar bazaar. Period.

The itwaar bazaar is the MEGA Mall of Karachi. Sans AC ofcourse.

It is a heaven which definitely deserves a trip as it holds merchandise which is unavailable in the rest of Karachi at those minimal qeemats.

Dazzles. Sheeshays

They got them baaltiis.

Forum and Park Towers charge us for the ACs and the battiyaan they have all over the mall. But, whatever, even humara Itwaar bazaar has undergone a revolution. Not been there? O_O

The tiled corridor
The floors are tiled now. Oh and yes, there is a floor now opposed to the desert sand. To come to think of it, a few more years with that sand and we would have been able to trek through the sahara without any issue. Heat. Lu. Sand which takes you in. We had all that.

The new Itwaar bazaar is covered now. My version of the history of this evolution goes this way: On a very unfortunate mango-shopping-on-a-sunday trip to the old Itwaar bazaar, I witnessed a danda-flying. See, phase VIII is windy. And when i say windy, i MEAN windy. Very hawa-daar.

So i stood clinged to a tent-pole while my mother negotiated the qeemat of a very very tasty looking chaunsa aam. In that short while the wind abducted the danda for a bit.

I was busy eating the mangoes with my eyes while my hair slopped against my sweaty, sandy face. Wo kehtay hain na, taiz hawa ka jhonka, like in Hum Dil De Chukay Sanam. Yes. Salman Khan one. So that TAIZ hawa ka jhonka came and the pole slipped from my hands. Direction you ask? UP. The danda roughly seethed my skin with the hard friction and literally and figuratively FLEW upwards. Me, dead to the world, staggered to the aam ka tthaila while the danda had its 3 seconds of drift.

And then gravity nay kamaal dikhaya. The pole, obviously came down. But on what it came down you wonder? It landed its muddy stub on a very yellow chaunsa aam. The chaunsa's juice spread out and the guthli was stashed.

This was a kissa *I* personally witnessed, there was talk about others> a girl getting bruised with a flying danda. Reason being the pathaans' laziness to fasten it to the ground. Yeah so the lounging dandays started flying and the DHA office decided to butt in. Er. Help in. So now we have a covered Itwaar bazaar.

The new itwaar bazaar has ADDRESSES of the thailas-my bad. stalls. Very learned stall owners talk on their chayna ka mobayl to guide some new admission to their staff.

"haan, tonty phor wali lane pay ajo, goochion ka handbag latka huwa hai, udar hi tum ajo, balayk color k bayg hai, hum tumara idar hi intezar karta hai khochay'

Yes, so there are lanes. There are sections. There are addresses. *Tonty Phor*

Handmade Dazzle. Choorians.

The new Itwaar bazaar also has a PROPER parking area now. The one them malls had? Yes. With lanes. With painted parking car space. With police walay isharay doing and one-way lanes. Yes. The caveman is maadrun now. But somethings will never change. The sazookiyan will always park in the wrong direction. Sometimes blocking a bmw. The pathans will always wipe their faces with one of their merchandise cloth. They will oggle the angraiznian with the same crooked smile. They will flirt with the burger chicks as 'bajii, itna susta to paak tawar mein bi ni milta' closing the sentence with a paan-colored-teeth. **Dazzling** They will talk in their zz and khh and bzz of pushto when commenting on a customer. The hawa at Itwaar bazaar will still never dry your sweat. The remote kay cover wala will follow you till you respond. The company stalls reps will smile their dazzling teeth even in the hottest, windiest, sandiest, most humid of sundays. Company policy hai baji.

Karachi and Karachi walay may be a step ahead but the paan ki peeks at Itwaar bazaar and the sycophant attitude of the stall walays will always be the stark reminder of where we come from.


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