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Thursday, 25 August 2011


Me: Hayee.. When will we reach? This train journey is nauseating!

You: Yeah.. am tired too!

Me: Hey listen, did you lock all the doors and all before leaving? Considering you were home and I was out the whole day?

You: Yeah I did. Just did not go to the terrace or chhatt.

Me: hmm.. not an issu- WAIT! What? Why?

You: terrace per jaa ker kia kerna tha? Jhanday ko fold kerta?! Haha.

Me: Meaning? *fuming*

You: I mean… I was not going to go up the stairs just to bring the jhanda down yaar!


You: whaa-a-t? the breeze wont hurt it. And trust me, the crows and eagles have better things to do than disturb our flag.

Me: *calming down* <clenched teeth> I did not get a chance to see the flag but where did you buy it from? Araam say mil gya tha na?

You: What was the issue in that? Nukkar walay baba say le lia tha. Very reasonable cheap rate mein.

Me: Do you realize what you just said?

You: Whaat?

Me: Do you know what a flag is? By any chance?

You: Yes. I mean, DUH! Its not something holy or something. Just a representation yaar. Chill ker.

Me: NO! *anger seething* You know what it is? I WILL TELL YOU what it is! It is the only non-verbal, non-text iconic graphic a country is symbolized with! Two colors our poor flag rests on. Deep green and stark white. These two invariant tones are seen trashed together and swaying with the support of a thin stick.
Is my point coming to the surface? No? TSK!

You: Kiaaaaa?!

Phattay huay jhanday

Me: Well, for a start, kindly look around.

You: *looking around*

Me: *slaps forehead* NOT your compartment smarty pants! But around, OUTSIDE your humble habitat. Do you see a bluish tint where the crescent and the star should be? Oh, and is a strip of white flashing behind? Yes? No. NOT ON THOSE FIELDS! But in your hardly-in-attendance imagination.

You: hainjee? Jee? Haanjee. Dikhta hai.

Me: *poses a know-it-all pose* THAT my friend is the reality! <hell of a serious tone> The basting of a flag has become such a mundane, low-on-priority-list task that the only flags hoisted high up on the chats are the one-silai walay.

You: *staring into space, ogling the fields*

Me: Uff. No, this is not a tailor-master-lesson-of-how-to-sew-a-flag. Trust me.

You: oh, good. Jee continue.

Me: okay. I will deviate a bit. Emotional deviation you know. You know the happiness I felt at age six when I raised my very own jhanda on my chhatt’s railing was.. <deep breath>.. Incomparable. I was hopping up and down. [yes, I have a thing for Pakistan. And it is called patriotism wala love]. The green and white flashing in my eyes was so soothing that I cannot describe via the medium of mere words.

You. Ah-aan. *all interested type look*

Me: But, now will you Imagine.. just IMAGINE my sadness coupled with heaps of fury when I witnessed the crescent and star torn away because of the samandar ki hawayen. And that, my friend is what constitutes to the reason behind this magnanimous issue I’m discussing. The hint of blue gaping at ur ogling eyes when you look around.

You: baat tou theek hai.

Me: Aur tou aur! The people who sell these jhandays, who tou bus miskeen shakal bana ker kehdetay hain. *screws face up together and speaks in a wheezy tone* “kyunki hawayen to taiz hoti hain baji, jhanda tou jhanda hai, Phatna hi hai”. Mutlab app check kerain na confidence! Sahi hai. Phat jata hai. BUT NOT ON 16TH OF AUGUST ONLY!

You: J..j.jee. th..theek kaha. Phat-ta tou hai hi..

Me: SO WHAT if it phatto-fies? CAN’T not you, the rest of you, spend a few extra bucks in showing off [trust me, best choice of word] showing off your patriotism? Jhanday walay nay esay jhanday diye hain you all say. Can’t you go and SEARCH for a good quality jhanda? Saal mein AIK din ata hai! But, kyun kerayn? We’ve to buy all the latest lawn kameezes and the latest kurtas na. Aik matching frill k liye gulf k 100 chakkar lag jayen gay. But for the flag? Nukkar ka baba bahut achay jhanday bechta hai.

You: *shell shocked* Woah. Chalain.. We’ll discuss this again later I hope-

Me: Excuse me? You’re staying here and listening to this. Hmph.

You: Sa-a-ahiii.

Chipkey huay jhanday

-To walls and To the dandas

You: Kia mutlab?

Me: oh bhae. How should a flag be?

You: Err.. clean?

Me: *smacks head hard* -Ouch! Well. NO! it should be lehraofying in the hawa and not chipkofied to a) the walls or b) the thin danda.

You: Ooo.

Me: jeeee! A flag should be swaying in the breeze. Not to forget, it shouldn’t even be wrapped around its danda.

You: you surely have a point, ma’am.

Me: You haven’t heard the most important issue as yet.

You: *about to get up* wait- there is MORE?

Me: Yes, what do you think this flag business is anyways? Some kind of a joke? Haan? Haan?!


Biiiig flag and smaallllll crescent and star

Come on! SERIOUSLY?! 

You: what’s that supposed to mean?

Me: Dude, listen up. A flag isn’t some palate where any and every nukkar wala baba exercises his artistic skills. It has a STANDARD! It IS a standard. The crescent and star occupy a certain-Standardized portion of the green area of the flag!

You: Yeah I get that, but where is this coming from? Exactly?

Me: Have you seen the flags which are big and mighty and have a 50 ft length?

You: *all excited excited* oh yesss!

Me: have you noticed how minute the size of the chaand and sitara is in comparison?

You: *thinking* oh. Point.

Me: So. Yes. Exactly my point. IF one buys a big mighty flag [especially the big big firms and banks on I.I. Chundrigar road] then one should MAKE sure that it is proportionate enough to be called a Pakistani Flag.

You: You have a very valid point with sound judgement.

Me: *all flattered*

You: but you know this is not that pressing a matter-you know what I mean?

Me: *eyes red, nostrils flaring, nose screwed up in anger* ARE YOU OUT OF YOUR MIND? Wait. Let me calm down. <breathes in and out> Okay. How about if I say its your birthday today.

You: oh wow. That’d be an awesome example.

Me: And I get you a face-picture-cake. Like the ones those fancy bakeries make?

You: Wow, I’ve never had that stuff before.

Me: and how about I tell u that the baker ACCIDENTALLY used the gooify tool of photoshop and made your nose the size of Pinocchio and your eyes the size of a mole?

You: *eyes red, nostrils flaring, nose screwed up in anger* ARE YOU OUT OF YOUR MIND?

Me: See? The reactions are identical. So. Never forget that if Pakistan cannot speak for its image, there’s no use to care about it either. Never forget the amount of qurbaanis the people have given to give you a place in this land. To GIVE this land alone! And surely never forget that just like your birthday is so very special to you, the birthdate of Pakistan is also very special.

You: Yeess-

Me: Pakistan is our watan for God’s sake. The ONLY watan we have! At least pay tribute to its image properly. What with all the politicians stuff and the media crap the image of Pakistan internationally IS losing face magnified to the power of googol! But You can make a difference. So start by this small contribution of your part as this. Buying a proper flag.

You: I must say, interesting insight.

Me: Well, what can I say? This was, indeed a very refreshing train journey.

You: Wouldn't disagree oooooone bit! *beaming* 

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